Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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