she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
