Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
