He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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