What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
