I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
