I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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