In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
