first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
