when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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