i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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