So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
