It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
This gyro tastes like lonliness
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
