It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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