just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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