Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
