After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Randomize
