You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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