I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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