We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
