Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
