I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
