thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Send help, water and tortillas.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
