But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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