I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
