Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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