that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
