when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
