So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
