Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
