how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
