it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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