Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
