Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize