dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
