What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
