brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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