There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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