I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
