I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
