You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
