i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
