Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
