Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
