I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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