i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
