think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
