i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
