Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
