i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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