Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
