This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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