Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
