I wish I could punch you in the face.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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