"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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