so explain again why im purple
no
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
