Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
operation harelip BJ is a go
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
