If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
