My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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