did you get engaged???
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
