im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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