I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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