best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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