Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
