I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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