I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
