I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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